Welcome back to the RX3 Podcast. I am your host, Sama Canu. So I'm wondering why isn't I don't drink enough? You go to a gathering with friends, coworkers, or even people you barely know. Everybody else is drinking alcohol, and you're sitting there with water, juice, soda, or whatever non-alcoholic drink you chose. Then somebody notices you're not drinking. Why aren't you drinking? You tell them, I don't drink. And instead of leaving it alone, here comes the pressure. Oh, just have one. Just take a little bit. Come on, we're celebrating. Why? What does me drinking a little bit of alcohol add to your life? If I have a drink in my hand and I'm participating in the gathering, why does it matter whether my glass contains alcohol or juice? I really don't understand why some people take another person's decision not to drink so personally. It's almost like they believe you should make an exception for them. But why do I need to put something into my body that I don't normally consume just to make you feel good? It's irritating because it shows a complete lack of respect for somebody else's boundaries. I've seen this portrayed in movies and television shows, but it happens in real life too. You see it in different cultures and social settings. I've noticed it especially in some East Asian workplace settings where drinking with coworkers or business associates can be treated like part of the job. I've also seen versions of it in African social settings. Obviously, I'm not saying every Asian person, every African person or every workplace behaves this way. That's not what I'm saying. But the pressure does exist. From what I understand, in some settings, drinking together isn't viewed as simply having a beverage. It's treated like bonding. It's supposed to show that you're a part of the group, that you trust everybody, or that you're willing to go along with the culture. So when somebody refuses, the group may take it as rejection. But my decision not to drink isn't necessarily about you. I'm not rejecting your friendship, I'm not insulting your celebration, I'm not judging what you're drinking. I simply don't drink. Why can't that be the end of it? If your idea of bonding requires me to ignore my own boundary, is that really bonding? And if I have to do something I don't want to do before you can trust me, is that actually trust? Real hospitality should make people feel comfortable. It shouldn't pressure them into doing something with their body that they've already said they don't want to do. The other problem is that people sometimes push so hard that the person eventually feels obligated to explain why they don't drink. Maybe they're taking medication, maybe alcohol affects a medical condition, maybe they're in recovery, maybe their faith doesn't allow it, maybe they've had a bad experience with alcohol, or maybe they simply don't like it. Why should any of that have to be disclosed before their decision is respected? If I tell you that I can't drink because of a medical condition, suddenly my no becomes acceptable. But if I say I don't drink because I don't want to, people act like that isn't a good enough reason. Why do you need access to somebody's private information before you're willing to respect their boundary? Sometimes I wonder if the non-drinker makes other people uncomfortable because their presence makes everyone else think about how much they're drinking. The person with the water isn't saying anything. But everybody else starts feeling like they're being watched. So they try to get that person to drink too. Maybe if everybody participates, nobody has to question anything, but that discomfort belongs to the person feeling it. It doesn't belong to the person who chose not to drink. This is especially concerning in work situations because there's already a power imbalance. If your boss, senior colleague, or business contact keeps pushing you to drink, saying no may feel like it could affect your career or the relationship. That isn't a free choice anymore. That's pressure. Nobody should have to consume alcohol to prove they're a team player, build professional relationships, celebrate a contract, or avoid offending someone with more power. We talk so much about respecting people's choices, but apparently that respect disappears when somebody makes a choice the group doesn't like. And it isn't only about alcohol. This is what happens whenever people treat another person's boundary like the beginning of a negotiation. I don't drink, I just have one. I don't want to. Why not? Because I said I don't want to. Why does there have to be an argument when somebody tells you they don't drink, offer them something else and move on? You don't need their medical history, you don't need a personal testimony, you don't need them to convince you that their reason is serious enough. Respecting somebody's choice shouldn't depend on whether you understand it. So I really want to know: why does another person's decision not to drink bother some people so much? What does alcohol being in their glass do for you? And if somebody has to violate their own boundary to make you comfortable, is the issue really about having fun or is it about control? I don't drink should be enough. If this message resonates with you, please feel free to share it with someone who may need to hear it. If you want to support the RX3 podcast, your support is greatly appreciated. You can support the show by subscribing, sharing, or reposting this episode, or clicking the support the show button or link in the description. Thank you for listening, sharing, and supporting the RX3 podcast. Again, I am your host, Salma Kanu. Until next time, bye for now.